I Cry

I don’t know how many of you have heard of a small time rapper/actor by the name of Tupac Shakur, lol. What a lot of people outside of the confines of the radio didn’t know is that Tupac was also a poet. Not just a conventional "street poet" but an actual writer of poems. He penned a book entitled "The Rose that Grew from Concrete". In this book are no less than 100 hand- written poems by the man himself BEFORE all of the drama, the shooting and the jail time for a crime that to this day I don’t think he committed.

One of the most poignant poems to me is called I Cry. For reasons that still escape me I am an emotional creature. Some would say that it is because I am a Pisces and others would say that it's because we all are, just some are afraid to show it. Whatever the reason I evoke emotion that some say is so powerful that they can literally feel my emotion in my words.

I Cry

Sometimes when I'm alone

I Cry,
Cause I am on my own.
The tears I cry are bitter and warm.
They flow with life but take no form
I Cry because my heart is torn.
I find it difficult to carry on.
If I had an ear to confide in,
I would cry among my treasured friend,
but who do you know that stops that long,
to help another carry on.
The world moves fast and it would rather pass by.
Then to stop and see what makes one cry,
so painful and sad.
And sometimes...
I Cry
and no one cares about why.
- Tupac Shakur

This poem conjures up so much to me because for whatever reason I can REALLY relate; not only to the poem but to Tupac as well. Here was a man that was born the son of a member of the Black Panther party; as some may know this others may not. By many assertions I have a deep knowledge of the Black Panther party from my grandfather. Although he never just came out and said that he was an active member I know now through various conversations that I had with him growing up that more than likely he was.

We are taught as boys that are to become men some day that to cry is a sign of weakness. Not to do it as to submit yourself to ridicule and embarrassment no matter what has taken place. For years I lived by this mantra as that is how I was raised. I know now that tears indeed have a place. Now I am going to say something that I want you to think about when you read this next paragraph.

Emotions are just that. Thoughts that come abound and give us a conscious mental reaction. This can be joy, anger, fear, sadness, elation……the list goes on. Now this is going to be deep:

Tears are the sole physical manifestation of emotion.

- Aaron "K-Nine" Washington

(I think I am going to patent this statement, lol)

They are indeed tangible. You can touch them, you can see them, and you can feel them roll down your face. Once a tear falls, for whatever reason, you know that you have been touched to the point of being overwhelmed with emotion so much that it had to have an outlet. That outlet is the tear. Without knowing you, anyone can see a tear and know that you feel SOMETHING, ANYTHING.

There have been times in my life that I have cried for various reasons. The death of my mother and the birth of my son. When I thought that I would never lift weights again because of a torn rotator cuff. The one constant that I know within myself if that once a tear falls from my face I am changed forever. Sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worse. When my son was born and I cried, I made a pledge to myself to ALWAYS strive to do better. When my mother passed I made a pact to myself to let any woman that I was involved with know EXACTLY how I felt about them as I didn’t think that I adequately expressed that to her before she passed. I know she knew that I loved her but sometimes, most of the time it is something that still NEEDS to be spoken. So now I make it a point to tell the women in my life that I love them when I do. I don’t want anyone to ever pass away from this Earth wondering how I TRULY felt about them.

Then there are those times that I have cried and it cleansed my soul. The tears washed away any confusion and brought a moment of clarity like none other that I have ever felt. The problem with that "moment of clarity" is that it makes me EXTREMELY self aware. To the point that every tear that is shed coats my skin with a protective layer that cannot be removed. Men don’t cry often, some say that they don’t cry at all. Just know that when/if they do, they will be changed……..FOREVER.

Just be aware that if you are the catalyst for the tears that you might not like the manifestation that occurs.